by Andrew Hirss

It's not so much a change of heart that I've experienced during these stay-at-home days of the pandemic as it is a dramatic reduction of expectations. Trip to Detroit in early July – cancelled. Writing retreat trip to San Miguel de Allende at the end of July – cancelled. Dinners and outings with friends – placed on indefinite hold.

My world has shrunk to the four walls of my home and the ever-changing view along the Clark Fork River beyond my living room's storybook windows. In order not to drive myself crazy, the more time I am having to spend at home with just me, the more I find myself having to accept who I am and how I navigate my world. Days formerly filled with keeping busy have been replaced with long stretches of contemplating my inner world, letting go of disappointment, finding pleasure in simple things.

Simple things... watching the lilacs swell and bloom along the riverbank; bald eagles gliding above the opposite bank as they scout for breakfast; virtuoso river swallows as they playfully swoop and climb in a chaotic aerial ballet with flashes of blue, black and white; goslings as they are herded (gaggled?) by goose and gander on the golf course green across the way; random pets and owners as they stroll by on the path below my living room windows, social units socially distancing from the rest of the world; Rufus, as he snuggles into my chest, and we both drift off into a mid-afternoon nap, his rumbly purr lulling me to sleep.

Nurturing my creative side... isn't that why I went into early retirement in the first place? I let go of the age-five-years-for-every-year-worked life as a database programmer in order to be just where I am now. These stay-at-home days of the pandemic afford me the time and space I crave to release my inner artisan and lose myself in creating beautiful things from wood, metal, fabric, glass beads and thread. Whenever I begin to panic over what I can't control beyond these walls, I return to the work of creating, and find inner peace.